NJAMFT Conference 2012   Sept. 28, 2012

Plenary Speaker: Esther Perel MA, LMFT
    
Esther Perel MA, LMFT is a master trainer, therapist and workshop leader and an acknowledged international authority on couple therapy, cross-cultural relations, and culture and sexuality. She is the author of the international bestseller “Mating In Captivity” now available 24 languages. Her book won the 2009 book award from the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. She was trained and supervised by Dr. Salvador Minuchin, and she serves on the faculty of The Family Studies Unit, Department of Psychiatry, New York University Medical Center, The International Trauma Studies Program, and The Ackerman Institute for the Family as well as the Scandinavian Institute for Expressive Arts Therapy.

Esther's topic this year is: "Attachement Security and Erotic Life: The Challenge of Maintaining Sexual Connection In Long Term Relationships."

The story of intimacy and sexuality in committed modern couples is one that often tells of a dwindling desire and includes a long list of alibis, claiming to explain the inescapable weakening of erotic connection. The absence of fantasy, the overwhelming expectations placed on adult intimacies, the proliferation of pornography and affairs, as well as a lack of understanding of the nature of erotic desire all contribute to couples’ sexual impasses. We will examine the cultural pressures that shape domesticated sex and investigate the puzzling inverse correlation between greater emotional intimacy and loss of sexual desire. Contrary to popular belief, sexual problems are not always the result of relational problems, and improving the emotional relationship may do little to improve the sex. We will discuss common blocks to eroticism including the fear of abandonment or of entrapment, the imprint of the attachment history on the erotic blueprint, the familial feelings between partners, and the guilt and worry that preclude the pursuit of pleasure. Also addressed is the role of fantasy and imagination as well as sex after kids. Throughout the training, Ms. Perel will introduce innovative strategies to help couples unlock sexual blocks, take emotional risks and enhance their erotic bond. She will show how to grant the body its profound capacities for emotional expressiveness reaching beyond intimacy as mere verbal communication. Combining formal teaching, clinical case examples, and video vignettes we will probe the bonds and conflicts between love and desire. The workshop draws on attachment and psychoanalytic theory as well as on family systems, and body oriented approaches. Combining formal teaching, clinical case examples and video vignettes we will probe the ambiguities of love and desire through a multi- cultural lens. This model applies to married and unmarried, heterosexual and same sex couples.

Educational Objectives: 

Offer a non-judgmental, relative and multicultural understanding of the differing notions of love, marriage and sexual behaviors, and to highlight the relation between culture and sexuality.

1. Invert the traditional therapeutic priorities using the sexual relationship as a lens into the individual and the couple¹s dynamics.
2. Demonstrate how changing the sexual relation can transform a couple’s entire relationship
3. Map the connections between partner’s attachment orientation and their sexual feelings and behaviors.
4. Trace the psychology of desire back to the details of our childhood and know how our emotional history shapes our erotic blueprint and expresses itself in the physicality of sex.
5. Learn why increased emotional intimacy can lead to decreased sexual desire.
6. Help couples balance their need for security and closeness with their quest for separateness and passion. Gain a broader understanding of Porn, kink and other atypical sexual behaviors.
7. Plumb the depth and healing qualities of our erotic imagination, show couples how to use fantasy as a healthy and enriching imaginative tool.
8. Bring a nuanced therapeutic approach to work with extra-marital relations, past and present, fantasized or real, secret or revealed.
9. Explore Transference and counter-transference when working with sexual issues.

                        Afternoon Workshop Descriptions

                             You May Choose 1 of the following:

A.    An Introduction to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy 
This presentation will include an overview of attachment theory, show how attachment is connected to relationship distress and demonstrate how to create healing in relationships through utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).  EFT is an empirically validated approach to couples, developed by the work of Sue Johnson. The presentation will include a clinical video demonstration of EFT.
Learning Objectives:
1.    Participants will learn about adult attachment and how insecure attachment relationships leads to relationship distress.
2.    Participants will learn about the 3 Stages of EFT.
3.    Participants will learn about the interventions used in EFT.
The preliminary will include a presentation on attachment theory, show how attachment is connected to relationship distress and leads to unhealthy patterns of interactions that couples get stuck in. The 3 stages of EFT will be reviewed and a video clip of working with an escalated couple will be shown.  The afternoon workshop will review the 9 Steps of EFT and the interventions used to bring about change.  It will include a clinical demonstration of working with a couple using EFT and an experiential exercise.
Presenter:    Debi Scimeca-Diaz LMFT, LCADC
EFT Certified Therapist and Trainer in Private Practice, Hamilton, NJ

B.    “Who's In Charge Here?” A Systemic Theory of Parenting
This workshop is a follow-up to and is based upon the morning plenary session.  There are numerous articles and books written about family functioning and parenting technique.   However, little has been written specifically about parenting theory.  The theory of parenting presented here applies the concepts of the family emotional system and the role of intense emotion and anxiety in human behavior as developed by Murray Bowen, M.D., and David Schnarch, Ph.D.  It describes the goal of parenting (raising well-differentiated children), the emotional challenge that children present to their parents, the necessity of consistent responses by parents and why these issues are so important. Techniques for parents will be presented with a discussion of how the technique embodies the theory and of how the concept of differentiation provides direction and support for parents.
1.    Describe the issue of “safety and security” for children;
2.    Describe how to provide the proper “emotional response’ to the child’s “emotional question;”
3.    Describe the parallelism of the behavioral and the emotional in parent-child interactions;
4.    Describe and understand who benefits from “parenting techniques;”
5.    Describe why it is not that important if a parenting technique “does not work well.”
Presenter:    James Verser, M. Div., M.S., Ed.S.,
Marriage & Family Therapist in Private Practice, Bloomsbury, NJ

C.    Why Is This Jewish Client Different From All of Your Other Clients?
Jewish clients often present unique challenges in therapy. Jewish families may be firmly ensconced in their family and community; or they may be in flight from them. Either way, their Jewish identity informs their journey. This workshop will address four questions (objectives) to increase your sensitivity to the needs of Jewish clients:
1.    Chronic Loss: What is the unseen power of the missing family member in the therapy session? The impact of the Holocaust on survivors, and the immigrant generation.
2.    Enmeshment vs. Differentiation: Are Jewish families overly enmeshed, with weak  boundaries between its members?
3.    Competing loyalties: Can Jews be loyal to family, community, country, and the State of Israel?
4.    Life and Death: How do Jews navigate the challenges of the life cycle? Are there common cultural customs that connect them vertically to previous generations and horizontally to other Jews in their extended family history?
Presenters:        Rabbi Gary M. Gans, D. Min, Rabbi, LPC
Congregation Beth Tikvah, Marlton, NJ

D.    AAMFT 5 Hour Supervision Refresher Course (Noon to 5:00 PM, 5 CEUs)
The course is designed for AAMFT Supervisors who seek renewal of their supervisor designation. It is an interactive and intensive five hour course for experienced supervisors. The course content is geared towards current developments in supervision. Participants will receive a certificate of completion.
Presenter:    Dr. Charleen J. Alderfer D.Ed.
Therapist in Private Practice, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, Belle Mead, NJ

                                           CONFERENCE SCHEDULE

8:00 AM – 8:45 AM        Registration, Exhibits and Continental Breakfast
8:45 AM – Noon             Plenary Address

“Attachment Security and Erotic Life:  The Challenge of Maintaining Sexual                                   Connection in Long Term Relationships”

Noon – 1:00 PM              Awards Luncheon (included in registration fee)
1:00 PM – 4:00 PM         Workshop Presentations – Choose 1

A.  An Introduction to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
B.  “Who's In Charge Here?” A Systemic Theory of Parenting
C.  Why Is this Jewish Client Different From All of Your Other Clients?
D.  AAMFT 5 Hour Supervision Refresher Course (5 CEU’s + 3 CEUs for Plenary Session)

LMFTs, Certified Counselors and Social Workers (pending approval)

For more information and/or special needs:
Karen Vedus: (Phone) 908-832-4181 (Fax) 908-832-7560
Email: kveduseds@comcast.net

Registration: You may register safely and quickly online, by either mail-in check or by credit card, simply by clicking on the link below. You may also download the brochure and print out the mail in form and attach a check by clicking on the "Download Brochure" (which is idental to this page you've read) below.

DRIVING DIRECTIONS

Conference Center at New Jersey Hospital Association, Princeton

From the North:
Take Route 1 South to Princeton; exit right on to Alexander Road EAST/Princeton (2nd Alexander exit). Go to the third traffic light on Alexander Road. The NJ Hospital Association (NJHA #760) is located on the right. Take the first driveway after the third light. Parking in rear of NJHA.

From the South:
Take Route 1 North to Princeton; exit right on to Alexander Road (just past Carnegie Center and Princeton Hyatt Regency).  Turn right at light at top of ramp. The NJ Hospital Association (NJHA #760) is located on the right. Take the first driveway after the second light. Parking in rear of NJHA.