Working In the Here and Now
of the Therapeutic Relationship

$25.00 for members, including 1.5 CEU’s; $35.00 for non-members including 1.5 CEU’s.
• • • 
You must pay online, in advance to attend this luncheon.

Meal Choices:

Important note: There will be no changes to entree selections after registration. Switching has caused other guests to be served something other than what they ordered. There will be no exceptions. Thanks for your understanding.

Roasted Salmon with Wild Mushroom Risotto, Herbs and Parmesan Cheese

Grilled Chicken with Penne Pasta with Sauce Puntanesca and Basil

Cheese Ravioli with Sun-Dried Tomatoes, Pine Nuts and Pesto Cream Sauce

• • •
Please Join Us in Welcoming Nancy Gunzberg

My patient Lori is sharing her hurt feelings with me regarding a new friendship she  initiated with Meg, a woman in her art class. Lori had previously been excited about having a new friend and is now feeling dismissed and not valued by her.  

As we explored the hurt, anger and shame she felt in relation to Meg, and recognized
the antecedents in her family history of a neglectful Mom, she realized this was an old familiar pattern that has held her hostage her entire life. She allows her tears to stream down her face and feels how painful it is to not feel wanted and not made time for. Lori seldom initiates relationships in an attempt to protect herself from a reminiscent, familial hurt.

I had been having a hard time scheduling Lori after my 5 days away and unfortunately we had to wait two weeks for our next appointment. It occurred to me that she might have felt neglected and not valued by me as well. Lo and behold, lurking under the radar of our own knowing, when asked about this in the context of this new friendship, Lori did admit to feeling disregarded and excluded by me. She thought I couldn’t appreciate how bad it felt that I wasn’t able to “make time” for her. While the adult part of her knew the vacation interrupted our usual time together, the younger part of her felt shame, dismissed and unattended to.

Lori and I had tried to schedule her sooner but were unable to find a mutual time. What she didn’t know was how disappointed I was that we had to miss our session. We had been making steady progress, and I felt bad that we had to interrupt our work together and would need to wait two weeks until we could meet again. Diana Fosha (The Transforming Power of Affect: A model of Accelerated Change. New York:Basic Books.
2000.) says, if patients are going to feel safe enough to experience vulnerable or long held emotions, the therapist needs to be brave, genuine and emotionally engaged. In this case, therapist self-disclosure may be a reasonable intervention, perhaps conflicting with of a more traditional training that urges us to remain neutral and hidden. I consider this possibility as we enter our next session and wonder what the “best” thing to do is. I am thankful for Winnicott who reminds us, we only have to be “good enough.”

Nancy Gunzberg is a licensed clinical social worker currently practicing psychodynamic psychotherapy in private practice in Santa Barbara, California. She has worked as a therapist in medical settings at Cottage Hospital, The Cancer Center of Santa Barbara, Sansum Psychiatric Department, and Hospice of Santa Barbara. Areas of specialty include trauma, depression and anxiety, grief and loss, attachments, eating disorders, identity, aging, illness, and end of life issues. Recently Nancy has been involved with Diana Fosha’s Immersion Trainings and currently is involved with a 10 month Training in Dynamic Emotion–Focused Therapy (DEFT) devoted to deepening and integrating affect.
1991— BA Psychology, Antioch University, Santa Barbara, California
1996—MSW Master of Social Work, Smith College, Northampton, Massachusetts
2000—LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker, LCS 19951

Get the word out, and connect with other chapter members.
Please bring your marketing materials for our Members Info Table.