Healing Idealization
with Karen Thorson & Larry Byram
FREE INTRO Tuesday, August 23
Identifying the Problem of Idealization
6 - 9 p.m. MDT
in Boulder Classroom or by Webinar
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FREE INTRO: Identifying the Problem of Idealization
Idealization keeps us from seeing the truth. When we idealize someone, we become blind to the problems. We discount things that don't make sense or don't match up. The result is choosing partners who don't work out, and never were really interested in us.
Come to this Free presentation about how Idealization can be neutralized. Consider how much time and suffering you have had because of this problem to date. Is it time for a change? This discussion can change the trajectory of your life. Of course, the cost is that you are going to have to give up your unconscious biases and fantasies about how easy it should be. Are you tired of over dramatic partners? Do you want real connections that are meaningful and long-lasting? If the answer is yes, then come to this free intro night where we will talk about Idealization and you can see it disappearing in the rearview mirror.
When we idealize, we fantasize about a future that never comes true. This keeps us from ever confronting how we need to participate to manifest our dreams. Idealization distracts us from our current circumstances because of our tendency to blame others for our lack of engagement. As a result, we make excuses and end up victimizing ourselves, rather than constructively building the opportunities we want. It seems natural to us to look for the easy way rather than commit ourselves to the process of actually making changes. This is why, in the initial Idealization phase, we feel great about our prospects because we have not actually had to do anything. For some of us, we fall into the pattern of believing that “only if” or “when” we reach a certain circumstance, things will be better. When that circumstance comes and nothing changes, we create another reason why we cannot currently succeed. This is what keeps us living in a possibility that never emerges. The impact of Idealization is that we are always seeking either positive or negative reasons to make meaning of our lives. Either, things are great because of some potential circumstance that’s going to happen, or we are completely minimizing our options by believing nothing great will ever happen. While this process creates a sense of change in our life (particularly, when we vacillate between one extreme and the other), it produces no real change in our life circumstances. We go from hope, to no hope, and back to hope again. We time-shift, where we recreate past circumstances by imagining that they happened differently. These shifts allow us to remake our past keeping us focused on the positive associations we wish to emphasize. When we constantly replay this experience, it reinforces a false sense of safety and security and evokes wish fulfillment. This keeps us from dealing with the real problems that exist or actually improving our circumstances. Idealization is always about people, places and things. We can idealize ourselves or others, see the positives about a place or the worst about that location, or love or hate the things around us. What we do not understand is that we use these polarities to create a false stability in our lives. What we sacrifice is our ability to be truthful or to recognize the truth because we cannot see both the good and bad simultaneously. As a result, relationships that were good originally can change on a dime to be the worst we ever feared. Until we have a partner who is not influenced by Idealization patterns, they are not a reliable observer. To compensate, we tend to take their oscillations as distractions which we either ignore or average over time so as not to disturb us. The key for us is to practice Passionate Indifference where we enjoy the process and do not count on the goal to make us happy. When our partners can also be Passionately Indifferent, it creates the possibility Radiant Self-Unifying Love because we can be ourselves with each other.
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Healing Idealization
Tuesdays, August 30 - November 15, 2015
6 - 9 p.m. MDT
2945 Center Green Court, Suite E, Boulder, Colorado 80301
$397 in Boulder Classroom ~ $347 Webinar
Idealization Course Topics and Lessons:
1. Idealization At The Core
2. The First Pair Of Opposites - Objectification
3. The Second Pair Of Opposites - Subjectification
4. The Third Pair Of Opposites - Idealization
5. The Three Types Of Idealization
6. Imbalance Between Sensations, Feelings, Emotions, and Thoughts
7. Acknowledging Projections—Taking Away Their Power
8. Integrating Feelings & Emotions
9. Repulsions, Idealization Sequence & Patterns
10. The Way Out Of Idealization
11. Upper Boundary Limits
12. Passionate Indifference And Balancing The Pairs Of Opposites
