VERTICAL GOALS & PRAYERFUL DEPENDENCE - Ephesians 6:1-4 tells us the goal of parenting is to bring children up "in the Lord".  This means not only instructing our children to obey the Lord but to untrue a heart for the Lord whom they obey.  David, a man after God's own heart, articulated the right parenting goals as he instructs his young son, Solomon, on his deathbed (see 1 Chronicles 28:9).  As parents, we must continue to evaluate our goals in light of the reality of God or we will be influenced by the world to go after that which is passing away.  And even with the right goals, we must not pursue these goals in our own strength. We must remember that apart from the Spirit's influence upon your heart and your child's heart, your labor in your child's life is in vain. Therefore, you must combine right goals with prayer dependance (Ps 127).

CLOSE COMPANIONSHIP & GODLY EXAMPLE - Ephesians 6:4 tells parents to "bring children up".  This means that close companionship is necessary to accomplishing the goal assigned - much talk, much time and much tasting together.  But, Ephesians goes on to warn us to "not provoke"; This means we must model for our children in heart and habits what we teach.  If we are an ungodly example, our companionship will only provoke rebellion to God rather than promote a heart for God.  We must combine both close companionship with our godly example for us to be effective as biblical parents.

STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENT & GOD-CENTERED CONVERSATIONS (DAILY) - Ephesians 6:4 gives us two tools we are to use in parenting of our children - "discipline" and "instruction".  There is a preventative side to discipline and instruction.  Parenting is not to be just about disciplining and correcting children when they do wrong, but creating a disciplined environment and maintaining daily conversations to restrain the evil influences and sinful nature as we nurture inward wisdom.  Parents who overlook these two preventative tools will always feel like they are "crisis-managing," and eventually lose heart.

CONSISTENT CONSEQUENCES & GENTLE CORRECTION - Ephesians 6:4 gives us two tools we are to use in the parenting of our children - "discipline" and "instruction".  There is a remedial side to discipline and instruction. Because we are by nature rebels to God, parents should expect resistance to their attempts to raise their children "in the Lord".  Creating the best-disciplined environment and maintaining the best daily conversations with our children are not enough - though essential.  So what do you do when your child refuses to obey your good structure and your good counsel?  Choosing right consequences helps retrain the behavior especially in the early years, and choosing right words helps persuade the heart back to God, especially in the teen years (see 2 Tim 2:14-16).